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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054404">cut yourself the slack you cut your friends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsanelycooltheatrekid/pseuds/theinsanelycooltheatrekid'>theinsanelycooltheatrekid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cuddles, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Shotgunning, Weed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:29:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theinsanelycooltheatrekid/pseuds/theinsanelycooltheatrekid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor looked away for a second. He seemed almost...nervous? </p><p>“So. We’re gonna try this thing, because it’s your first time.”</p><p>Had to use that phrasing, didn’t he. </p><p>“Do you- Do you know what shotgunning is?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cut yourself the slack you cut your friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a fluffy oneshot that's been in my head for AGES!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Evan?” </p><p>“Mhm?” </p><p>Evan was lying on the floor; Connor was lying on the bed, getting high. Thanks to that one fire safety class they’d had in 5th grade, Evan knew that by staying close to the ground, he’d be avoiding the worst of the smoke; weed made him cough and he hated coughing because it made him feel like he was dying and just. Ugh. </p><p>“You sure you don’t wanna try some?”</p><p>Evan watched as Connor slid onto the floor beside him. “No, thank you.”</p><p>Connor yawned, and Evan couldn’t help but stare as he stretched, exposing his stomach. His cheeks burned and of course Connor chose that moment to blow out a perfect little stream of smoke which was just, unfairly captivating, and <em>oh god now he was staring at Connor’s mouth.</em></p><p>He was just too damn pretty for his own good. </p><p>“You’re looking at me weirdly.”</p><p>“Shit! No um- uh sorry, you’re just- I was just-”</p><p>Connor raised his eyebrows. </p><p>“You’re just really pretty!” Evan spat out, squeezing his eyes shut. </p><p>Connor cackled. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”</p><p>Evan groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I said, I said you’re really pretty and that’swhyIwasstaring oh my god I’m sorry that was probably weird but you just look so good and-”</p><p>“Ev.” </p><p>He peeked out from between his fingers. Connor was looking at him with a slightly amused expression, the tips of his ears turning red. They made eye-contact for a split second before Connor rolled his eyes and well, Evan couldn’t <em>not </em>laugh then. </p><p>“Are you high?”</p><p>“What? No!” Evan spluttered. “Why-”</p><p>“Huh. So you really do think I’m pretty.”</p><p>“I- no, I don’t<em> think</em> you’re pretty- you, uh…”</p><p>Evan was pretty sure his face was tomato red now, but once he got started he couldn’t just turn back.</p><p> “You <em>are</em> pretty. Not- Not a matter of opinion.”</p><p>Connor huffed out a laugh. “Wow.”</p><p>
  <em>Wow? Wow??? What does that even mean?</em>
</p><p>“Wow as in, stop bullshitting me.”</p><p>Oh. He’d spoken aloud. </p><p>But also. What?</p><p>“I’m not bullshitting you.” </p><p>Connor laughed again, turning away, and Evan reached out on impulse, grabbing the nearest part of him, which happened to be his shoulder, looking seriously into his eyes. “I’m not. I wouldn’t do that, I’m shit at lying anyway.”</p><p>Connor rolled his eyes, a smirk playing at his lips. “Whatever,” he muttered, clearly trying to move on. </p><p>“Aw, are you embarrassed because I think you’re<em> prettyyyy</em>?” Evan batted his eyelashes, making him snort, before upping his tone an octave, drawing out his words. “Connor Murphy, you are absolutely<em> gorgeous</em> I bet anyone could fall for you, you absolute angel.”</p><p>“<em>Angel</em>,”  Connor snorted. “Angel, oh my fucking god. You really just called me an angel, you nerd.” He smacked Evan lightly upside the head. </p><p>“Shut up you<em> are</em> an angel- you’re just so- so <em>ethereal.<em>” Evan continued, swatting away Connor’s hand. And well, if there was some truth lying beneath his teasing tone that was only for him to know. </em></em></p><p>“Jesus Christ,” Connor muttered, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. “Jesus Christ, come here.” </p><p>Connor tugged Evan so they were both standing up before pulling him onto the bed, collapsing in a mass of long limbs and-</p><p>Holy shit he was being held by Connor. Connor was <em>holding</em> him.</p><p>Arms and legs wrapped around his body and he caught Connor’s eye, resulting in never-ending peals of laughter that only subsided when Evan piped up with, “Oh my god, Connor,<em> where’s the joint?</em>?” </p><p>Connor giggled harder, pressing his face into Evan’s shoulder. “What, you want a hit?”</p><p>“No oh my god!! Where’s the joint!!! Did you drop it??” </p><p>“OH! Oh crap, fuck, where’d I put it?</p><p>Evan was shoved unceremoniously off the bed as Connor scrambled around for the joint he had already lit, cursing under his breath. Evan sat on the floor, dazed, giggling at Connor’s frantic efforts, face still flushed from the unexpected physical contact. </p><p>“Found it,” Connor groaned. “Stuck it in Gary.”</p><p>Evan gasped dramatically. “You did <em>what</em>?”</p><p>‘Gary’ was the unofficial name of the small potted succulent he had gotten Connor for his birthday. Connor tried to insist on calling the plant ‘Evan’ but he had protested. </p><p>“Fuck. Come back here.”</p><p>Evan climbed back onto the bed, flopping onto his back. Connor curled immediately into his side, flinging an arm around him and clutching at his waist. Evan coughed, choking slightly. </p><p>You see, Connor was not one for physical contact. They’d hugged maybe twice; both times at least one of them had been crying. And Connor would hold Evan’s hand to ground him during a panic attack. But that was literally it. </p><p>]A far cry away from the Connor who was currently nuzzling into Evan’s neck. </p><p>Without warning, Connor tilted his head upwards, planting a small kiss on the underside of Evan’s jaw before tucking his head back into his neck as though nothing had happened. His thumb caressed Evan’s hip, stroking back and forth, back and forth, and he hummed into Evan’s jaw, some little tune that Evan could hardly focus on because <em>holy shit</em>, Connor had just kissed him.</p><p><em>It’s platonic,</em> Evan reassured himself, trying to remember how to breathe, distracted by the dizzying motion of Connor’s thumb on his hip. </p><p>And then Connor sighed, directly into the sensitive skin below Evan’s ear, before kissing him <em>again,</em> this time on the very edge of his cheek.</p><p>
  <em>He’s high. He’s high, this doesn’t mean anything, it’s the weed making him do weird shit like this-</em>
</p><p>“Iwannatrytheweed,” Evan blurted out, cheeks flushing. Fuck, why had he said <em>that?</em>&lt;</p><p>Connor snorted, throwing his leg over Evan. “You sure ‘bout that?”</p><p>“Uh,” Evan replied, too focused on the long skinny limb prodding at his calves. “Uh, yeah.”</p><p>“Right.” Connor pulled away, sitting up on the bed and looking at him sceptically. “<em>You</em> want to try <em>this.</em>” He said, brandishing the joint. </p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes!” Evan nearly shouted. “Yes, I wanna try.”</p><p>“Um. Okay. So.”</p><p> Connor looked away for a second. He seemed almost...nervous? </p><p>“So. We’re gonna try this thing, because it’s your first time.”</p><p>Had to use that phrasing, didn’t he. </p><p>“Do you- Do you know what shotgunning is?”</p><p>“Uh. No?”</p><p>“Right.” Connor was now looking anywhere but at Evan’s face. “Right, so, I’m gonna take a hit. And then you gotta- you gotta come here so I can breathe it into your mouth.”</p><p>“What?” Evan squeaked. Connor immediately backtracked. </p><p>“Or- Or we don’t have to! It’d just be a lot easier because you don’t actually have to inhale from the joint itself and you’d definitely cough a lot less but like, you can just take a normal hit- or not do it at all.”</p><p>"It's… easier?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Evan took a deep breath. “I’ll do it,” he exhaled. </p><p>“Right,” Connor repeated. “Right. Okay then. C’mere, dork.”</p><p>Evan shuffled closer obligingly, so that they were both facing each other, cross-legged. </p><p>Connor brought the joint to his lips, taking a long drag, before placing his hand on Evan’s jaw, who just looked at him, stunned. Connor burst out laughing, blowing smoke at Evan’s face. “You have to open your mouth, idiot.”</p><p>“Right! My mouth. Yeah.”</p><p>Evan’s barely functioning brain had been replaced by a static buzzing noise, hyper aware of Connor’s fingers brushing the back of his neck. Connor inhaled again, tapping at Evan’s bottom lip with his thumb. He let his lips fall open slightly, and Connor leaned in, and <em>nope</em>. Evan flinched away on reflex, giggling. </p><p>“Sorry!” He gasped, unable to stop laughing at the unimpressed expression on Connor’s face. “Sorry, I won’t fuck it up this time.”</p><p>Connor raised his eyebrows. “You sure?”</p><p>Evan took a deep breath, straightening out his features, nerves bubbling in the pit of his stomach. “I’m sure.”</p><p>Connor sucked in some more smoke, probing at his lower lip again. Evan parted his lips and watched as Connor closed his eyes and leaned in and <em>wow, okay,</em> Connor’s mouth was on his and <em>wow, okay,</em> apparently his lips weren’t open enough because then Connor tilted his head, pressing his mouth against Evan’s slightly harder, exhaling the smoke. </p><p>Evan inhaled, sucking the smoke into his lungs for a millisecond before immediately spewing it all back out again as Connor pulled away just enough to press his forehead to Evan’s, eyes closed. </p><p>Evan coughed and the moment was over as Connor recoiled, screwing up his face. “Dude, did you really have to do that right in my face?”</p><p>“Sorry,” Evan replied reflexively, mind hazy as every neuron in his brain tried to process that he had basically just kissed Connor Murphy. </p><p>“You feel it yet?”</p><p>“Feel what?” Oh, right. The weed. The actual original purpose of this exercise. “Uh...what am I supposed to feel like?”</p><p>Connor shrugged. “It differs. I’d say we try it again but it’s your first time so I don’t want anything bad to happen. But this is a really weak strain.”</p><p>“Let’s do it again.” Evan replied, feeling bold, craving the taste of Connor’s lips on his just one more time. Connor eyed him warily. “You sure?”</p><p>“Stop asking that!” Evan giggled. “C’mere.”</p><p>Connor pressed his forehead back against Evan’s, smiling slightly, eyes shut. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were just using this as an excuse to kiss me,” he whispered, barely loud enough for Evan to hear, his breath ghosting across Evan’s lips. </p><p>Evan’s breathing hitched. “Um.”</p><p>If only he knew how right he was.</p><p>Connor slowly blinked open his eyes. “M’joking, don’t freak out on me.”</p><p>“I wasn’t going to!” Evan spat out, far too fast. </p><p>"Alright…" Connor replied, slowly, drawing out the word in his mouth. “You definitely want another hit?”</p><p>“Yes! I mean, unless- unless you don’t want to, that’s fine-”
</p><p>“Do <em>you</em> want to?”</p><p>And well. Apparently the weed has switched his filter off because then Evan went and said the stupidest thing ever, breathless and fast. “I really wanna kiss you right now.”</p><p>Connor blinked. “Huh?”</p><p>The filter went straight back on. “I mean! I mean, I-uh, I don’t want to kiss you that’s really weird oh no that’s rude, fuck, I do want to kiss you but you probably don’t like me like that and now I’ve gone and ruined everything oh god pleasedon’thateme-”
</p><p>“Evan. Shut up.”</p><p>Connor brushed his lips against his, closed, hesitant. </p><p>Holy. Fucking. Shit. </p><p>Evan placed a hand at the back of Connor’s neck, not-so-subtly drawing him in closer. Lips parted, tongues collided, hands intertwined, and then all too soon, Evan was pulling away, muttering ‘fuck,’ under his breath. </p><p>“Fuck, <em>Connor</em>.”</p><p>“Evan.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>COMMENTS KEEP ME GOING Y'ALL &lt;3</p><p>fic title from slack by elyse shackleton</p></blockquote></div></div>
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